August 9, 2009

  • The Storm of Life

    As I write this, a huge thunderstorm is occuring right where I live. It is no surprise, then, that I see my life as massive, colossal, and magnificent as this huge storm of a life time.

    The thunder, the lightning, the rain, and the roar of the heavens makes me...me. It is like a reflection of my anger...and my inner...despair...as there is no sanctuary for my torned up heart..and no home for my spirit...a place that I can feel, even belong. I am the lost...and I am angered by it. I have lost so much in so little a time...but, alas, I took my chances. What are you suppose to do when you are. "rejected?" Deny it. No. Accept it. Nature is angry, just like myself...the endless rumbles and screams of nature echoes throughout my soul. A thunderstorm describes my feelings best. That is why, I suspect it has been so devastating and so rainy these days. It is because nature is reflecting me...and my faults, and my turmoil...the fears and tears that I went through to be where I am today. It is a war in the heavens I tell you as the forces of good and evil collide. Like the thunderstorm that I am writing about...the rain hails hell...and it pours down my sorrows...and yet, it remembers it.

    I am a lost soul. I will, one day, find myself again...or, whatever is left of it. There is still hope. Although hope, by all comparison is kind of futile and fruitless. I am just screwing around with myself. I can't even read my own emotions properly, let alone someone elses. It is time I take back my life from those who destroyed it...because, my life was already destroyed. Now, there needs to be rebirth...and a reincarnation...perhaps...a new rising...of the Sun?

    Energy...the vortex that is created by this huge storm is undeniable. It is my anger, fear, and sorrow that fills up the power for these storms to be olympic...dangerous, and lethal. I have never...all my life witnessed such a massive storm of such a proportion. It is like God is trying to tell me something through the rumbles, the roars, and the screams of Nature...it is like...the world is about to end because God is angry...he is in Wrath. This is God's revenge on me...and on us...humans for being so stupid as to underestimate the glory and majesty of Nature...because we are all fractals...a part of this grand storm...this masterpiece of terror and fear...but at the same time - glory, might, and beauty...a hidden, dark, mysterious beauty...that is also...me.

    I am...a dead man. I have been dead for so long. It is time I woke up...or at least...start taking back my body from those who seek to ruin it. This is the message that I am getting from mother Nature...at least...at this moment.

    I need to be freed from this rugged old body...to be illuminated again...to be actually free. I need to do this first by buying more natural foods...and less meat. Meat brings down the energy vibrations of human beings...a very negative energy if not controlled. I need more...natural fruits and vegetables...without all that packaging shit. I need to be connected with nature...and all its glory. I need to start vibrating positive energy...because the truth will make you miserable...but better to know it than to be enslaved by lies, deceptions, and frauds.

    This is a mission at the crossroads. All my life...I have been trying to find the solution, when the solution to my problems may be easier than I expected: Nature itself.

     

    Love, the Sacred and the Profane

     

    Xinyu Hu