November 16, 2009

• Dreams…what do they mean?

  Now, this is going to be weird, but last night, for some odd reason or another, I had a strange dream about my ex…again. This is like the third time or something I have had a dream about my ex…and she keep on bothering me on a psychological and psychic level…and so, I need some answers. That is why I am writing this entry…to find some possible answers about my state of mind…and my psychic state…because I do not really know what is going on here…any and all advise would be helpful…including interpretations…

  Well, basically, the dream goes like this:

  The first dream started with her Xanga being reactivated again. So, it was kind of weird…and I don’t know how that happened…then, suddenly this shit happened…For no reason whatsoever, I don’t know how or why, me and my ex just happened to ge together again, and we seem to be having fun like the way we used to…talking, sharing, and discussing good old days…at least, that is what it felt like. She looked beautiful in that dream last night, and I don’t even feel weird when I was with her…everything was normal. It was a sunny day in that dream too. I felt normal, although right afterwards, I felt weird. I was talking with her normally, like I always used to. I wasn’t angry either. I was just having a causal talk with her…and then, she was talking to me about all the good stuff in her life, and we were having the time of our lives. We were smiling too. We were also pretty close. Then, somehow, gradually, the dream faded away…and that was last night.

  My other dream was not like this – in the other one, my ex was stalking me. She told me to meet up with her in her neighborhood. I went, but then as I was walking along the dark street, I saw her dad’s car, and she apparently brought some other people along too, to apparently, “convince” me that I had to go to see her. I was weirded out, and freaked out. So, I ran away, and walked away from the situation. Then, that was the end of that one…as creepy and stalkish as that one was…

  Then, the one that was so long ago…that one took place while she, my ex was emotionally and physically torturing me…or both. I don’t know what happened, but as we were talking, I felt like I was being mutilated even cut open inside out…it was a strange feeling. It felt painful too. I did not understand what was happening, but I knew that in that dream, or nightmare, I was hurt, angry, and frustrated at her. She was evil in that dream. She was shouting at me, and acted like some kind of psychotic, mindless bitch from Hell. She was never what I ever anticipated her to be. She justified her action in that dream by saying she was better than me or something, or that her interests were above all others. I was angry, and hurt…emotionally and physically by the vicious energy of the attack. I was basically psychically assaulted by me ex. I didn’t understand. The last thing I said to her in despair and agony was, “How could you do this to me???” This dream took place just before I spoke to her again on February 2, 2009 for the last time. On the 33rd day of the year…the day of shadows and rebirth…apparently.

  So, I ask my dear readers…what is the meaning of all these dreams? My memories may have been messed up a little, but based on whatever I remembered…what does it all mean? I don’t mind sharing by the way…it helps me clear up the mess and the chaos…so, an explanation anyone?

   

  Thanks

   

  Xinyu Hu

   

  P.S. Me and my ex broke up over the fact she cheated on me (my POV), and she has since then, called me evil, and a faggot. She chose to fuck someone else after we fucked within 24 hours. She called it casual sex when I asked her about it, and she said she’ll never speak to me again because of it. The break up took place at the end of October 2008, and was formally over by December 27. I tried to salvage it again on February 2nd. The friendship between me and my ex lasted for 3 years and 3 months in total. Five months before she gone out with someone else, we broke up. Then, for five months, we did the “friends with benefit thing.” We started going out in January, and ended in May of 2008. Just some background information. And yes, I became really angry and ticked off after she started dating some new guy she met on a bus to school one day. This is all necessary background information for you to analyze the dreams and if possible, tell me what the heck do they mean exactly. And yeah, I am a single child. Lonely, and it sucks.

   

   

  Thank you.

   

  • 8:10 pm
  • 3 Comments